Fortitude Fridays #2

Read Time: 4 mins

Quote to inspire:

“Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still”

- Chinese Proverb

How often we forget that small or slow steps are still moving us forward and that is still progress. Life is a solo marathon you run against yourself…just keep moving, growing, thinking, and learning.

Question I have been contemplating:

“Does this need my attention now?”

We live in an amazing era where we can stay connected or receive information in an instant. Americans check their phones on average of 96 times a day, or once every ten minutes. Yet that constant checking can have a stressful impact on our lives, and rarely does *urgent* actually mean urgent. Moreover, we can place our own feeling/value on how urgent things are thus creating a state of constant stress related to false urgency. I am 100% guilty of that.

Once on vacation, I drove 30 mins in the mountains to find WiFi to send a work email that I felt was urgent, spoiler..it wasn’t.

I also think about how many times I have been answering emails during family time, stopping mid conversation to answer a text, or spending time checking my phone while out to lunch with friends or colleagues.

It’s easy to fall into that trap of thinking “this is important, need to do it right now” instead of pausing and asking yourself “does this need my attention now?” This simple question could help break that stressful pattern, allowing you to shift your focus to what’s really important in that moment.

Article to read:

​How to Increase Self-Motivation by Arash Emamzadeh​

I am fascinated by human behavior and how it relates to motivation and goal attainment. I enjoyed how this article explored the research surrounding the four dimensions of goal pursuit. It’s a quick read, but has some great points.

Key take away:

• Strategies for successful goal setting
• To sustain motivation you must monitor your progress
• Rarely do we pursue a single goal, so we must learn to juggle goals
• Social support can increase motivation

Tactic to try: the 5-minute rule

When I was floor nurse, I experienced the chaos that was working on a medical surgical burn/trauma floor at a Level 1 Trauma Hospital. Level 1 means that we had the tools and expertise to take the most dire cases. My floor took direct admissions from the emergency department, intensive care units and from emergency surgery based on patient load (aka "we're full, we need the bed, take this person").

Our patient population had injuries that spanned from simple surgical appendix removals, to violence related injuries, car accidents and severe burns. I usually never knew what I was walking into or what could happen in a shift, it was wild. My night could change in an instant and codes (patient not breathing or no pulse) were not uncommon. This environment created a rollercoaster of emotions, especially as a new grad, so I started the 5 second rule to cope. I would count to 5 and let whatever emotion was coming crash over me unrestricted and after “five” I would tamp it down and spring into action. I knew that despite the best efforts of modern medicine, the worst-case scenarios could occur and I had no control over that, but I did have control over how I could take action and potentially save a life.

Recently I watched a video of Hal Elrod explaining the 5-minute concept at the Game Changers Summit, and I was excited that someone explained what I had been doing my whole nursing career.

How the 5-minute rule works is that it’s ok to be negative about whatever is going wrong, but for no more than five minutes. After that time is up, you say the three words “can’t change it” acknowledging that you can’t change what happened to cause these emotions, so there is no point in wishing you could change it. He stated that we create our reality, and our negative emotions stem from resisting our reality by wishing or wanting something that is different. You can’t change that you got injured in an accident, a loved one passed, you failed an exam, or any other bad thing that has happened, but you can choose what it means for you, even if you are unsure how it will play out. He believes that “everything happens for a reason, but it is our responsibility to choose the reasons.”

When you accept the worst-case scenario and the things you cannot change you create emotional neutrality through acceptance. By living in a state of acceptance, “where you choose consciously to accept life as it is, past, present, and future, you give yourself that gift of emotional invincibility.” This doesn’t mean you are necessarily happy about things that have gone wrong, but you are not sad, angry, depressed, frustrated, because you have accepted it and are at peace. This state of peace then allows us to choose and focus the emotion that best serves us in the moment. You then can focus your energy on the possibility/outcome you want because you have accepted the possibility/outcome you didn’t want.

I don’t fall back on my 5 second rule often these days, but I really like the 5-minute rule Hal presented. Actively trying to steer myself to a state of acceptance and emotional neutrality to be more intentional with choosing my emotions and possibilities is something I can get behind.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have an amazing weekend!

You got this,