Fortitude Fridays #57

read time: 6 mins

A few ideas as you head into the weekend.

Today at a Glance:

• Quote: Survival and Change.
• Question: Assumed or Confirmed.
• Book: You Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins.
• Framework: Understanding Motivation.

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Quote To Ponder:

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.

-Charles Darwin (Naturalist & Author)

​Life is chaotic at best and the only constant is change. To survive, one must learn to absorb life's blows, pivot with agility, and adapt swiftly.

If you can embrace that discomfort, you will win.

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Question To Ask Yourself:

Is that assumed or confirmed?

Posing the question 'Is that assumed or confirmed?' whenever new information is presented is incredible for achieving discernment in life, information, relationships, and our thoughts. It prompts us to pause and challenge thoughts or information, allowing us to sift through the noise to uncover the truth. Potentially saving ourselves from unnecessary negative emotions or outcomes.

It's true that we are overwhelmed with information and thoughts at any given moment, and this question helps to distinguish fact from misinformation, encouraging us to critical think.

By questioning our own assumptions, we create objectivity and sound reasoning, leading to clearer perspectives and deeper understanding.

Try it for yourself and see how it goes.

Credit to Jeanne Torre, business coach, for the question.

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Book to Check Out:

You Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds

by David Goggins

David Goggins' childhood was marred by poverty, prejudice, and abuse. Yet through relentless self-discipline and unwavering perseverance, he transformed himself from a despairing, overweight youth with no prospects into a revered figure in the U.S. Armed Forces and a world-renowned endurance athlete.

With a unique distinction as the only individual to complete elite training in the Navy SEALs, Army Rangers, and Air Force Tactical Air Controller, he shattered records in numerous endurance competitions, earning the title of "The Fittest (Real) Man in America" by Outside magazine.

Goggins shares his extraordinary life journey in 'Can't Hurt Me' and introduces the concept of The 40% Rule, illustrating that most people operate at a mere fraction of their potential. Through his story, he illuminates a path that empowers individuals to transcend pain, conquer fear, and realize their fullest capabilities. Even better..he shows you how.

My Thoughts: The audiobook version of this book hit me hard during my first round of 75 Hard, a time when I was feeling like I was at a personal rock bottom and craving change. While not narrated by Goggins himself, the discussion with him after each chapter added such depth. The story of his experience completing Hell Week with 21 stress fractures in his legs during SEAL training, deeply inspired my resilience and determination. Goggins' raw and unfiltered reflections made it feel more personal, providing a deeper motivation and inspiring me to push through my own challenges.

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Framework: Motivation and the Hard Truths I Have Learned

Ever had one of those mornings where dragging yourself out of bed feels like conquering Everest? Yeah, we've all been there—moments when motivation seems to vanish, and life's demands are ready to throw us off course in a blink of an eye. You know the drill: the night before, you're pumped with motivation, determined to rise early and crush that workout. But when the alarm goes off, suddenly that motivation has vanished, and hitting the snooze button becomes the only workout you're doing. Raise your hand if this resonates. Yep, me too.

But what if I told you that understanding the framework of motivation could be the key to unlocking your parking brake, gaining momentum, and achieving your goals, even in the face of life's chaos?

Motivation comes in different shapes and forms, each playing a unique role in guiding our actions and shaping our behavior. By understanding the different types, we can gain insight into how our brain interprets motivation. You have to understand the basics before you can outsmart the system.

Let's Break it Down:

Intrinsic Motivation: This is the fire that burns from within—the driving force behind our deepest passions and interests. Whether it's pursuing a hobby we love or immersing ourselves in a project that sparks our creativity, intrinsic motivation fuels our sense of purpose and fulfillment. For example, imagine a musician who spends hours practicing their instrument simply because they love the feeling of playing music.

Extrinsic Motivation: On the flip side, extrinsic motivation comes from external sources—like rewards, recognition, or social approval. While it can provide a temporary boost, relying too heavily on external rewards can overshadow our intrinsic desires and lead to burnout or disillusionment. Consider a student who studies hard to earn good grades, not because they love learning, but because they want to please their parents or teachers.

Adaptive Motivation: Think of adaptive motivation as your compass in the wilderness of life—the guiding force that helps you navigate uncertainty, overcome obstacles, and stay true to your values. It's about being flexible, resilient, and proactive in the face of challenges, rather than letting them derail your progress. Imagine a professional athlete who maintains their training regimen despite injuries or setbacks because they are committed to their long-term goals.

While understanding the types of motivation is crucial, it's important to recognize that motivation is a multifaceted concept influenced by various factors. Moreover, we often mislead ourselves about what truly drives us. We may mistakenly believe that motivation hinges on feeling passionate about something or that it arises solely from within and must be discovered. These misconceptions can serve as excuses to avoid taking action. However, the truth is that passion is not a prerequisite, and neither is talent or ideal circumstances. Motivation is more than just a fleeting feeling; it's a habit that requires daily practice.

As Zig Ziglar famously said:

In reality, motivation isn't something we lack or need to discover; it's a force we can create and hone within ourselves through daily practice.

As someone who identifies as an achiever with big goals but also experiences a lack of motivation regularly, I've learned some hard truths about motivation in my own journey. My hope is that by sharing them, you will be able to use what I've learned to spark your own motivation.

Hard Truth #1: Action Most Often Comes Before Motivation

Many believe motivation to be an elusive force to pursue or 'find,' thinking that once it is 'found,' it will supply all the energy to achieve our goals. Spoiler alert: you may not magically find it spontaneously, and it is a finite resource. However, motivation is the result of action, and we can generate more motivation from action. It emerges when we dive into tasks we may not want to do but know we should. The first step is usually the most difficult, yet any action builds momentum, like a snowball rolling down a mountain—it grows as it moves along.

How it Works: Take that initial step towards your goal, even if it is only five minutes, and repeat. If you haven't worked out in weeks, start with a walk or a few reps with some weight. Haven't worked on that self-paced course you signed up for months ago? Maybe get out the materials and read a couple of pages. Trying to organize your home? Try starting with cleaning out a drawer or the bathroom cabinet. Motivation will follow suit as you build momentum, allowing you to expand upon that initial step and further create momentum.

Becoming a morning person seemed like an unattainable goal at first, especially the thought of rising before 7 am. Yet, I embarked on the journey gradually, inching back the alarm clock little by little. Eventually, I found myself outdoors, engaged in cardio at 6:00 am. It wasn't an overnight transformation; rather, it evolved through consistent small actions. Starting small paved the way for motivation to take hold. It was a journey that required patience, but with perseverance, I turned my goal into a lifestyle.

Hard Truth #2: Motivation is Tied to Emotions and It's Complicated

Understanding our brain's inclination to seek pleasure and avoid pain is key when thinking about motivation. We will always be more motivated to seek comfort over doing hard things. The couch and Netflix will always sound better than a run in the rain. French fries will always taste better than steamed broccoli. Hanging out with friends will always be more fun than studying, chores, or anything, really. So we need to figure out how to bypass the avoidance of pain and discomfort to get to the feelings we want, such as accomplishment and pride for doing the things we set out to do.

How it Works: By gamifying tasks or rewarding ourselves, we tap into this mechanism. Attempting to summon motivation without considering our emotions is an uphill battle. Making mundane tasks enjoyable or rewarding increases the likelihood of completion. For instance, turning a walk into a chance to listen to a favorite audiobook or podcast, or pairing exercise with a friend or awesome playlist. Using the Pomodoro method for studying. Setting a reward of an item you have desired if you reach a certain number of sessions at X,Y,Z. The point is, create such a great feeling for during or after, that it keeps you coming back for more, even if it is hard.

I found this especially evident in the CrossFit community, where they excel at cultivating a strong sense of camaraderie and empowerment. Despite the demanding workouts, the positive atmosphere and support from fellow gym members made the experience enjoyable. I cherished the time spent with my gym friends so much that the physical challenges seemed secondary, and I eagerly returned day after day.

Hard Truth #3: Motivation Comes From Embracing Hard Things

Short-term rewards may establish habits, but true, enduring motivation emerges from embracing life's challenges. It's not just about what we desire, but what we're willing to endure to get what we desire. Lasting motivation is fueled by our determination to overcome obstacles in pursuit of meaningful goals. By accepting life's struggles and letting them propel us forward, we find long-term motivation. Recognizing the inherent hardships in our endeavors and deeming them worthwhile strengthens our resolve. Embracing setbacks as opportunities for growth amplifies our drive. As I said before, it's really not solely about our wants; it's about what we're willing to fight for. Just as the movie industry captivates us with underdog stories, inspiring us to envision ourselves as the hero of our own comeback, our struggles can drive us to create our own triumphant narrative.

How it Works: This mindset of embracing challenges, coupled with our determination to never give up, forms the foundation of our long-term motivation. When we view setbacks as opportunities for growth and maintain a steadfast resolve to overcome obstacles, we develop a sustainable drive to pursue our goals over the long term. Stubbornness, when channeled positively, reinforces this determination by instilling a refusal to accept defeat and a commitment to persist until success is achieved. By consistently pushing beyond our comfort zones and adapting to challenges, we sustain our motivation, enabling us to persevere through setbacks and pursue our aspirations with unwavering resolve. In our career advancement journey, challenges like tough competition are embraced as opportunities to learn, sustaining our long-term motivation. Similarly, in pursuing fitness goals, plateaus and fatigue are seen as temporary setbacks, but our stubborn determination to push through ensures our sustained motivation.

At 14, learning to snowboard took over a year to be able to get down a mountain without falling. Despite constant embarrassment, practice and setbacks, stubbornness fueled my determination. Now, 26 years later, the joy of ripping down a mountain remains unmatched, and I am forever grateful I refused to give up.

Bringing it Home:

In the journey to maintain motivation, it's important to recognize that it looks different for everyone and that we all experience cycles of highs and lows. Understanding these variations can help us navigate through challenges and setbacks with resilience. Motivation isn't about fleeting desires; it's about enduring struggles. It's the willingness to face challenges head-on, knowing they're stepping stones toward our goals. Ultimately, it's created from what we are willing to fight for—our dreams, aspirations, and the vision of the future we want to create. By taking action, acknowledging emotions, and persisting through difficulties, we can cultivate sustainable motivation tailored to our unique needs and circumstances. Remember, motivation isn't just a feeling we wait for—it's a habit we actively practice, leading to long-term success and fulfillment.

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Thanks for reading! I hope you have a motivational weekend. Until next week...

You got this,