Fortitude Fridays #56

read time: 6 mins

A few ideas as you head into the weekend.

Today at a Glance:

• Quote: Here vs. There.
• Question: Impact of Self Talk.
• TEDTalk: How to Make Stress Your Friend
• Tactic: Calm Anxiety Anywhere.

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Quote to Put On the Wall:

Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there.'

-Eckhart Tolle (Spiritual Teacher/Author)

​Staying grounded in the present, with clear goals and self-care as priorities, we can empower ourselves to bridge the gap between where we are and where we aspire to be.

 

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Question To Ask Yourself:

How do I typically speak to myself when I'm feeling stressed - do I use positive, encouraging thoughts, or do I find that my internal dialogue tends to worsen my feelings of anxiety?

The way we talk to ourselves during tough times can have a huge impact on how we feel. When we choose to be kind and supportive in our self-talk, it can really help us manage stress better.

On the flip side, if we're constantly putting ourselves down or imagining the worst-case scenarios, it tends to make things even harder.

Studies by experts like Dr. Lisa Barrett and Dr. Ethan Kross have shown that positive self-talk can lower our stress levels and make it easier to deal with challenges, while negative self-talk is linked to more stress, anxiety, and even feelings of sadness.

By paying attention to how we talk to ourselves and trying to be more positive, we can actually reduce stress and become more resilient.

 

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TedTalk to Check Out:

How to Make Stress Your Friend | Kelly McGonigal | TED

In her captivating TED Talk, "How to make stress your friend," Kelly McGonigal flips the script on stress, transforming it from a foe to a powerful ally. Through compelling research and personal anecdotes, she reveals the surprising benefits of embracing stress and shifting our mindset about it.

McGonigal's insights challenge conventional wisdom and offer a refreshing perspective that can fundamentally change how we approach life's challenges.

I revisited this video recently and was struck by its profound insights once again. Clocking in at less than 15 minutes, it's a concise yet impactful watch that covers a wealth of powerful points. Highly recommend giving it your time!

 

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Tactic to Try: Calm Anxiety Wherever You Are

Do you ever feel blindsided by anxiety, like an unexpected storm on a clear day? Me too. You're not alone. Anxiety has a way of sneaking up on us, catching us off guard and leaving us overwhelmed. But here's the truth: you don't have to be at its mercy.

Let me share three important things I have learned about anxiety:

Firstly, it's important to understand that you're not powerless against anxiety. Equipping yourself with coping skills enables you to take control, empowering you to navigate challenging moments with resilience.

Secondly, despite its persistent grip, anxiety is often triggered by external factors or recurring thoughts. Recognizing its transient nature offers reassurance, reminding us that brighter moments lie ahead.

Thirdly, anxiety is a natural human emotion, not a flaw or malfunction. It arises from unmet needs for safety and connection, underscoring our innate desire for security and belonging. Viewing anxiety through this lens allows us to approach it with compassion and understanding, paving the way for more effective coping strategies.

Now, what's a practical technique we can use to regain control and alleviate the grip of anxiety?

Enter square (or box) breathing, coupled with the practice of tracing an object with your eyes. This simple yet powerful combination helps soothe the mind and body when anxiety strikes, offering a chance to halt its escalation. You can do this anywhere, anytime, and no one will even know you are doing it.

I previously shared box breathing in an earlier newsletter, but I recently discovered the transformative impact of pairing it with tracing an object, thanks to Dr. Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist. I must say, it was a game changer for me personally. Give it a try and see if it is helpful for you.

Here's How it Works:

Fix your gaze on a nearby square or rectangular object, like a window, door, picture frame, or even your phone. As you trace its outline with your eyes:

• Inhale deeply through your nose for four* seconds, filling your lungs.
• Hold your breath for another four seconds to absorb the oxygen.
• Exhale slowly and completely through your mouth for four seconds, releasing tension.
• Pause for four seconds before your next inhalation.
• Repeat this rhythmic cycle for several rounds, focusing on syncing your breath and tracing the object's outline with your eyes to help your concentration.

This can take a few minutes to calm the body, but it will help to keep feelings from escalating.

*four seconds is not a hard and fast rule, just pick a length of time that feels right and you can do equally through the cycle.

Why This Works:

• Distraction: Focusing your gaze on a specific object provides a distraction from anxious thoughts, helping to shift your attention away from worries and into the present moment.
• Mindfulness: Tracing an object requires concentration and mindfulness, promoting a sense of calm and reducing the intensity of anxiety.
• Visual Stimulation: Engaging your visual senses with the repetitive motion of tracing an object can have a soothing effect on the nervous system, inducing relaxation.
• Breath Regulation: The synchronized movement of your eyes with your breath helps regulate your respiratory rate, activating the body's relaxation response and reducing physiological symptoms of anxiety.

Bringing it Home:

Managing anxiety doesn't always demand complex methods or dramatic gestures. Often, simplicity is key. Combining square breathing with visual focus offers a practical and powerful way to soothe your mind and body, especially during life's unpredictable moments. Why not give it a shot? Take a breath, focus your gaze, and find your inner calm amid the chaos.

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Thanks for reading! I hope you have a low stress weekend. Until next week...

You got this,