Fortitude Fridays #44

read time: 6 mins

A few ideas as you head into the weekend.

Today at a Glance:

• Quote: What Defines Us.
• Question: Leverage Weakness Into Strength.
• TEDTalk: ​How to Talk to the Worst Parts of Yourself​​ | Karen Faith.
• Framework: The Cracked Pot.

 

---

 

Quote to Remember Daily:

The most formidable strength arises from the ashes of our vulnerabilities. It's not the absence of weaknesses but the triumph over them that defines us.

- Arnold Schwarzenegger

​Vulnerabilities are not setbacks but the raw materials needed for building an indomitable spirit.

 

---

 

Question to Ask:

What aspects of yourself do you consider weaknesses?

and...

How could you leverage them to turn those weaknesses into strengths?

Challenging how we perceive ourselves is a transformative journey essential for personal growth and fulfillment. As we navigate through life, the introspection of our self-perceived weaknesses becomes a powerful tool in breaking free from limiting beliefs. A critical aspect of this process involves reframing traits traditionally seen as weaknesses.

However, this shift in perspective goes beyond mere positive thinking; it cultivates a profound growth mindset. We begin to view challenges not as insurmountable obstacles but as opportunities for learning and development. Moreover, this process is not static; it's a continuous, dynamic journey. As we adapt to changing circumstances, the willingness to reevaluate ourselves enables flexibility and a proactive approach to personal and professional challenges.

In essence, challenging how we perceive ourselves is not just a momentary exercise—it's a lifelong commitment to growth, fostering success and fulfillment across various aspects of our lives.

 

---

 

TEDx Talk to Watch:

​How to Talk to the Worst Parts of Yourself​

​ Karen Faith | TEDxKC​

People researcher and empathy trainer, Karen Faith, once found it easier to welcome strangers than to accept the unfamiliar and challenging parts of herself. However, a pivotal personal moment transformed her perspective. In this heartfelt and humorous presentation, Karen shares her journey, resonating with those navigating self-acceptance challenges and a noisy mind.

"We've been told too often that love is hard. It's not. Love is what happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it. It's right there...and we welcome someone, anyone, exactly as they are in the moment."

Karen delves into the concept of the Unconditional Welcome—a connection technique that sits comfortably between tolerance and compassion. The 'Unconditional Welcome' embodies the act of actively affirming that every facet of ourselves and everyone around us deserves belonging just as they are.

My Thoughts: I have listened to hundreds of TEDTalks and I found this to be one that I have thought about over and over again since watching. It felt like a combination of stand up comedy, therapy, a behavioral studies talk, and a poetry reading all rolled into one. I would 10/10 recommend to everyone.

*TW* brief mention of suicide ideation. If you are struggling with self-destructive or suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 to connect with someone who can help.

 

---

 

Framework for Empowerment: Illuminating Strengths Through Imperfections

The Cracked Pot

Paraphrasing an intriguing folktale that has captured my thoughts ever since:

Once upon a time, in a small village, there lived a water bearer who carried two large pots on a wooden pole. Each day, the water bearer would fill the pots with water from the stream and carry them back to the village.

One of the pots was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water to the village. However, the other pot had a crack in it. By the time the water bearer reached the village, the cracked pot would have leaked half of its water, leaving only a partial amount for the villagers.

Feeling ashamed of its imperfection, the cracked pot apologized to the water bearer for being flawed. In response, the water bearer gently said, "As we return to the village, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they walked back, the cracked pot noticed that it spilled water along its side of the path. Yet, to its surprise, beautiful flowers had grown in the places where the water had fallen. The water bearer explained, "I've always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day you watered them as we walked back. That's why we have such lovely flowers in the village."

The cracked pot, realizing its unintended contribution to creating beauty, felt a sense of worth and purpose. It understood that even with its imperfection, it had played a vital role in bringing beauty to the world.

The moral of the story: Our perceived imperfections and flaws, when embraced, can hold hidden strengths and contribute to unexpected beauty and positive outcomes in our lives.

While reading this story it made me think about how it relates to the Japanese art where broken pottery is repaired using lacquer mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum, known as 'Kintsugi' (金継ぎ) or 'Kintsukuroi' (金繕い). The term translates to "golden joinery" or "to repair with gold" and is a traditional Japanese technique that values the beauty of imperfections and the history of an object. The mended pottery is often considered more beautiful than the original, and Kintsugi symbolizes resilience, transformation, and the acceptance of flaws.

Putting it Into Action:

1. Reflection: Take time for self-reflection to identify situations or challenges where perceived weaknesses were overcome or turned into strengths. Maybe you've considered being introverted as a weakness in a team-oriented workplace, reflecting might reveal instances where your reflective and thoughtful nature has contributed to innovative solutions, showcasing your ability to work independently and offer unique perspectives.
2. Feedback: Seek feedback from others, as they may provide insights into strengths that might not be immediately apparent to you. Suppose you perceive being overly assertive as a weakness. Seeking feedback may uncover that your assertiveness is seen as confidence and decisiveness by others, contributing positively to team dynamics and decision-making processes.
3. Challenges: Embrace challenges that align with your perceived weaknesses, pushing yourself to navigate and overcome them, revealing hidden strengths. If you perceive a lack of technological skills as a weakness, embracing the challenge of learning new technologies can reveal hidden strengths in adaptability and a quick grasp of complex concepts, turning a perceived weakness into a valuable skill set.

Bringing it Home:

Our self-perception often reflects only fragments of our truth, not capturing our true strength and potential. Embracing imperfections can transform them into hidden strengths. Accept your uniqueness, recognizing imperfections as sources of untapped strengths and opportunities for positive contributions. Weaknesses can be sources of strength, enabling beautiful, unintended outcomes. Keep in mind that our flaws are not fatal, but integral aspects of our personal journey, shaping our character's depth. Within every perceived imperfection lies a unique strength ready to emerge from the ashes.

Personally, my past experiences, including all flaws and shortcomings, have fueled a passion to connect with others. Striving to make people feel heard and empowered, I share insights and empathy gained from overcoming challenges. Realizing that what I once believed made me 'less' actually gives me the leverage to help others through tough times completely changed my life.

I believe you can find your strength too, fostering hope for a better future. If I can achieve it, so can you.

---

Thanks for reading! I hope you have an awesome weekend. Until next week...

You got this,