Fortitude Fridays #53

read time: 6 mins

A few ideas as you head into the weekend.

Today at a Glance:

• Quote: Break Patterns, Innovate.
• Question: Recreate Joy.
• Book: Anatomy of Breakthrough By Adam Alter.
• Tactic: Navigating Life Upheaval.

 

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Quote to Ponder:

"When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge."

-Tuli Kupferberg (poet and musician)

Embrace the freedom that comes from disrupting the familiar patterns you have created.

For it is in these moments of upheaval that we discover the boundless potential of our own ability to shape our world anew.

 

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Two Questions:

When was the last time you truly felt joyful?

and then...

How can you incorporate elements of that joyful time into your life more regularly?

Recalling moments of joy helps us recognize what truly makes us happy, guiding us to prioritize activities and relationships that nurture our well-being.

Integrating these elements into our routines brings peace and happiness. For example, keeping a cherished photo from a joyful time on your desk, or enjoying the same type of tea from a memorable trip taps into the powerful connection between smell and memory. This link between our olfactory system and the brain's limbic system triggers vivid emotions associated with past experiences.

Similarly, continuing activities initiated during happy occasions, like hiking, yoga, or board games, sustains the feelings of joy and peace.

Ultimately, recreating our joy enhances our overall well-being and contributes to a more enriching human experience for ourselves and those around us.

My Answer: Years ago I discovered that the scent of pine transports me back to the Adirondack Mountains. Whenever I need a mood lift, I turn to diffusing pine and cedar essential oils for an instant burst of happy memories.

 

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Book to Check Out:

​Anatomy of a Breakthrough: How to Get Unstuck When It Matters Most ​

by Adam Alter

Anatomy of a Breakthrough offers a guide to overcoming the barriers that hold us back from reaching our full potential.

Authored by Adam Alter, this book draws on two decades of research to unveil the keys to breaking free from inertia and flourishing amidst challenges.

What sets this book apart from others in its genre?

Central to its approach is Alter’s concept of the 'friction audit,' a systematic method for identifying and overcoming sources of stagnation: HEART (emotional obstacles), HEAD (unproductive thought patterns), and HABIT (counterproductive behaviors).

Through compelling stories of resilience, featuring Olympic champions and renowned artists, Alter demonstrates how individuals can navigate and triumph over adversity.

By seamlessly integrating scientific research with real-life examples, Anatomy of a Breakthrough empowers readers to embrace the inevitability of being stuck as a natural part of growth, while offering actionable strategies to move towards their highest aspirations.

My Thoughts: One of the biggest eye-openers for me was realizing that getting stuck isn't a monumental failure on my part. Alter's book reinforced why it's a natural part of being human, and how to acknowledge it and keep moving forward. Additionally, it highlighted that everyone faces tough times; we often overlook others' struggles while only seeing their successes. I enjoyed this book and would recommend reading it if you also struggle with feeling stuck.

 

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Framework: Understanding How to Navigate Lifequakes

Ever had those moments in life that hit you like an earthquake, shaking everything you thought you knew? That's what Bruce Feiler calls a 'lifequake.' Fascinated by this term, I dove headfirst into its origins, and what I found was eye-opening. You see, naming these daunting experiences isn't just about labeling; it's about transforming them from monsters under the bed into manageable challenges. It's about turning anxiety into opportunity, fear into growth. And let me tell you, being able to put a name to those moments—those seismic shifts in our lives—can make all the difference.

What is a Lifequake?

Bruce Feiler, a prominent American author and journalist, introduced the term "lifequake" in his book "Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age." This term encapsulates significant periods of change and upheaval that punctuate pivotal moments in individuals' lives. Imagine your life as a journey with various milestones along the way. Lifequakes are like sudden earthquakes on this journey—they disrupt the status quo, precipitating massive shifts that cultivates uncertainty, transition, and personal growth.

Key aspects of Bruce Feiler's idea of lifequakes include:

• Magnitude of Change: Lifequakes are characterized by massive bursts of change that disrupt established routines, roles, and identities, altering the course of one's life.
• Frequency: Feiler suggests that the average person experiences 3 to 5 lifequakes throughout their lifetime, challenging the conventional notion that major life changes predominantly occur during middle age. Lifequakes can happen at any time.
• Duration: Each lifequake typically spans around five years, during which individuals undergo a process of transition, adjustment, and eventual renewal.
• Types of Lifequakes: Feiler categorizes lifequakes into various types based on their nature and origin, including personal, voluntary life changes, involuntary life events, and collective events affecting broader communities.

When experiencing lifequakes, we undergo phases of transition akin to the stages of grief. The emphasis lies in learning and developing transition skills to navigate lifequakes effectively. Bruce Feiler outlines three key phases of transition: bidding farewell to the past, navigating the messy middle, and embracing the new beginning. It is important to note that these phases may not occur linearly, necessitating adaptation and evolution as we progress through the transition process.

The Three Phases of Transition:

1. The Long Goodbye: This phase involves bidding farewell to the past, reflecting on what was, and letting go of what no longer serves us. It's a crucial period for acknowledging and coming to terms with the past, creating space for new opportunities and growth.
2. The Messy Middle: Here, individuals navigate through the uncertainty and discomfort of change. It's a time of shedding old habits and forming new ones, characterized by adjustment and experimentation as we adapt to our new circumstances. Despite its challenges, this phase lays the foundation for a fresh start.
3. The New Beginning: This final phase marks the emergence of the transformed self and the start of a new chapter. It's a time of embracing change and opportunities, often involving the unveiling of a new identity or direction in life. Representing the culmination of the transition process, this phase allows individuals to move forward with confidence and optimism into the next chapter of their lives.

Identifying the phase of transition in which you excel is key. For some, bidding farewell to the past is fundamental, while for others, thriving in the 'Messy Middle' by diving into action may feel more empowering. According to Feiler, embracing the transition phase that aligns with your strengths becomes your superpower. Recognizing your preferred phase enables you to cope with upheaval and uncertainty, ultimately emerging stronger and more self-assured from life's challenges.

In addition to identifying the three phases, Feiler offers several tips for managing the phases of transition effectively:

• Accept Your Emotions: Acknowledge and embrace the range of emotions you may feel during transitions, such as fear or sadness.
• Try Something New: Embrace the uncertainty of transition by exploring new activities or hobbies.
• Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups for guidance and encouragement.
• Reframe Your Narrative: View transitions as opportunities for growth and self-discovery.
• Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself as you navigate transitions.

Bringing it Home:

Lifequakes provide us with the transformative opportunity to rewrite our life stories. By reframing them as catalysts for growth and renewal, we uncover meaning amidst the chaos. Just as heroes confront challenges in ancient tales, lifequakes often manifest as the dragons we must face. As G.K. Chesterton aptly stated:

With this wisdom in mind, by attempting to evade or banish the dragon from our story, we inadvertently rob ourselves of the opportunity for our inner hero to emerge. It is in facing life's dragons that we have the potential to become our own heroes.

We cannot evade lifequakes. However, how we emerge from them depends greatly on our ability to adapt and grow. Seizing control of our narrative and actively participating in the process of rewriting our story are paramount on this journey.

Let us boldly be the heroes within our own stories.

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Thanks for reading! I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Until next week...

You got this,