Fortitude Fridays #50

read time: 5 mins

A few ideas as you head into the weekend.

Today at a Glance:

• Quote: Disappointment.
• Question: Tension.
• Book: The Comfort Book by Matt Haig.
• Tactic: Getting Out of Rut.

 

---

 

Quote to Ponder:

"Every time you're given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself."

-Glennon Doyle (from her book Untamed)

​

Life teaches us that, despite our best intentions, we will inevitably let others down—it's a natural part of being human. However, avoiding others' disappointment at all costs can lead to dissatisfaction and a loss of self-identity.

Embrace authenticity, stay true to your dreams, and those who truly support you will continue to love you through any letdowns.

Live up to your own expectations, not anyone else's.

 

---

Question to Ask Yourself:

Where are you holding tension in your body right now?

Our bodies often bear the weight of stress, anxiety, or unresolved emotions, manifesting as tension in clenched muscles or tightness. This physical response creates a feedback loop with the mind, adversely affecting mood. Persistent muscular tension can lead to discomfort, fatigue, and heightened stress levels, impacting overall emotional well-being.

Take a moment to sit comfortably. Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth, focusing on the rise and fall of your abdomen. Gently close your eyes and scan your body from toes to head, identifying tense areas—be it in your jaw, shoulders, neck, or anywhere else.

With another deep breath, visualize tension dissipating—whether melting away or dispersing like grains of sand in the breeze. Replace the tension with feelings of peace and calm.

 

---

Book to Check Out:

The Comfort Book by Matt Haig

This uplifting book is a beacon of light for anyone in search of hope or encouragement during challenging times.

Enter 'The Comfort Book,' author Matt Haig's personal life raft. Comprising notes, lists, and stories crafted over the years, these were initially gentle reminders to his future self, but thankfully he decided to turn it into a book for all of us to benefit from. These gentle reminders embody the wisdom that life's challenges aren't always as dark as they may seem. Drawing inspiration from history, science, and personal anecdotes, Haig provides a literary hug, urging us to pause and recognize the beauty and unpredictability of our lives.

My Thoughts: This little book is one I often think of and refer back to. It's easy to pick up, read a section, take a deep breath, and empower yourself to keep going. Sometimes, we all need a nudge or reminder that it's going to be okay, and this book certainly delivers.

Key Takeaway: Whether it is about fitting in, facing one’s demons or happiness itself, each short anecdote, quote or simple sentence does just what the book aims to do: give comfort.

 

---

 

Tactic to Try: How to Get Out of a Rut

In the ebb and flow of life, there's a phase we all encounter at some point—the feeling that we are in a rut.

It's that moment when routine turns monotonous, enthusiasm dwindles, and the daily grind becomes a tiresome loop. Whether it's the repetitiveness of tasks, a lack of inspiration, or the weight of responsibilities, we find ourselves yearning for change.

But, thankfully, just as fast as you can find yourself in a rut, with the right mindset you absolutely have the skills to get yourself out.

Let me show you how.

Here's How it Works:

This process is only three steps, and you can make it as simple or complicated as needed, but I highly suggest starting simple.

Step One: Stop Digging

There's a famous saying: 'When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.' This phrase underlines the initial step in breaking free from a rut. Simply pause your current activities and take a moment to assess the situation, cultivating self-awareness by recognizing signs of negativity, self-criticism, and exhaustion.

• This involves acknowledging patterns that contribute to digging yourself deeper without realizing it.
• Interrupt the negative cycle by consciously stopping detrimental self-talk.
• Understand how exhaustion can play a role, and remember the importance of intentional rest. (See Seven Types of Rest)
• Actively being aware and changing your mindset is essential – cultivate self-compassion and avoid excessive self-criticism.
• Incorporate intentional breaks into your routine to recharge physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Step Two: Shift Direction

Next, shift your direction by assessing both internal and external factors within your control.

• Reflect on personal habits that contribute to the undesirable conditions and identify actionable steps for change.
• Simultaneously, evaluate how your environment may be shaping the rut, considering changes like a change in scenery or eliminating draining elements.
• Envision the ideal version of yourself and the mental and physical space that aligns with this vision.

Step Three: Take A Step

Finally, begin to generate momentum for your vision by taking action. As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said "You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

• This involves taking action, even if it's a small, like going for a 10-minute walk or setting a timer for social media. Doing so will, in turn, generate both motivation and momentum.
• Adopt the Minimum Viable Progress approach, starting with manageable actions that are above zero- anything is better than nothing.
• Embrace imperfection, recognizing that progress doesn't have to be perfect or linear.
• Choose specific, achievable actions related to your goal, gradually increasing the intensity and duration of your efforts.

Bringing it Home:

By incorporating these steps, you can start building the momentum needed to break free from a rut. Remember, you don't have to face this journey alone. Seeking support from friends, family, or a professional can offer valuable insights and encouragement. Especially if you feel there is a clinical reason for your rut, be sure to seek help from a certified professional. Additionally, keep in mind that setbacks as a natural part of the process. If challenges arise, take each one in stride, learn from it, and keep moving forward.

---

Thanks for reading! I hope you have a delightful weekend. Until next week...

You got this,