Fortitude Fridays #18

Read Time: 5 mins

Quote to Ponder:

“Remember that weaknesses don’t matter if you find solutions.”

-Ray Dalio

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Every superhero character we love possessed a unique vulnerability, yet this never hindered their heroic endeavors, and they never gave up finding resolutions to overcome any obstacle.

​We are no different.

Question to Ask Yourself:

In my pursuit of my goals, am I prepared to fail? But more importantly am I prepared to start again?

Any long-term progression towards goals in life will inevitably experience short term failures. It does not mean you have to like failure or embrace the idea of “failing forward.” Failure sucks. It’s painful, uncomfortable and de-motivating. It is also very easy to fall into negative loops of cursing ourselves for our failure, we get stressed out that our lives are a mess and we are horrible at that thing, and we let that stop us from continuing onward, or some version of those elements.

But what if you are mentally prepared to fail-and also get back on the path, as simple and hard as it might be. More importantly, do you know what it takes to get back on your path and are you prepared to do that? Fortitude requires us to dig deep and push ourselves to start again.

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My Answer: This past week I encountered numerous obstacles while attempting to compose this newsletter. The emergence of an urgent matter on demanded my immediate attention, prompting me to make the difficult decision of postponing the scheduled broadcast. Although I felt disappointed, I accepted my choice and proceeded with sending it out today. At times, resilience calls upon us to make decisions that may not align with our initial plans, yet they present invaluable opportunities to learn and get back on the path.

Article to Read:

​3 Rules to Express Your Thoughts So That Everyone Will Understand You​

By: Kevin Dickinson​

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Practical principles put forth by the esteemed actor and science aficionado, Alan Alda, to foster communication that is both clear and empathetic.

1. Never make more than three points
2. Explain difficult ideas in three different ways
3. Make important points three times

Key Take Away: Worth a read if improved communication is one of your goals.

Or you are a fan of the gentleman that gave us the unforgettably sarcastic Hawkeye Pierce from M*A*S*H.

Tactic to Try: The Super Skill of Starting Again

The pursuit of new habits or projects often starts with the hope of effortlessly mastering them, expecting a smooth journey without any disruptions. However, life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs that derail our plans and cause our efforts to falter. Whether it’s travel, illness, or other disruptions, they can shake our routines and leave us feeling disheartened.

As an experienced coach, I’ve come to understand that habits and projects can be messy endeavors. We may initially excel at building and maintaining a few habits or make remarkable progress in a new project, only to see everything unravel when life intervenes. This experience can be incredibly discouraging, leading us to question our abilities and lose sight of our goals.

However, the problem lies not in the disruptions themselves or our ability to avoid them but in our hope for a flawlessly smooth journey. We are all guilty of this, myself included, so it's crucial for us to acknowledge that life is inherently unpredictable, progress rarely follows a linear path, and disruptions are unavoidable. Instead of holding onto unrealistic expectations, we must confront the reality of our lives head-on. This is generally easier said than done.

So why is the ability to start over a super skill? A study on the relationship between setbacks and self-regulation in the Netherlands stated:

By developing the invaluable ability to start again, we gain the capacity to enhance our resilience, reduce unnecessary stress, and harness our potential to overcome obstacles, propelling us towards our desired goals. From there we become adept at adapting and reinventing ourselves, liberated from the misconception of a flawless journey. New beginnings provide the opportunity to gain knowledge, develop, and advance towards our aspirations, adeptly maneuvering through the intricate hurdles that life presents us.

You may be asking "how can I improve my ability to start over?" It begins with recognizing disruptions as inevitable and deliberately practicing the art of restarting.

Here’s a helpful method to follow:

1. Notice the disruption and any tendency to be harsh or resentful. Instead, embrace the metaphor of life as an uncontrollable river and adapt to its constant changes. Flow with the present circumstances and let go of resistance.
2. Remind yourself why you started.
3. Ask yourself “Where do I have a measure of control, influence, or leverage in this situation?” This helps release negative feelings and activate personal empowerment.
4. Release past mistakes and focus on starting again, just as you did when you first began. Take the tiniest step forward, embracing the notion that progress is made one small action at a time.
5. Learn from previous attempts, if applicable. Adjust your approach to overcome obstacles you faced, whether through research, seeking guidance, or continuously improving your method. Stay open to discovering new solutions and refining your approach.

Remember, practice releasing disruptions, adapting to change, and taking action to start again. Don’t let setbacks overwhelm you—welcome them as part of the journey. Embrace the reality that interruptions happen, and through repetition, you can become skilled at the art of starting over.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a wonderful Sunday! Until next week...

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